Oh oh vertigo
It's day seven and though my vertigo is not getting better, I am on some dizzy pills (Meclizine 25MG) that give me cotton-mouth, but do allow me to sit upright in bed. Got a text from my boss this morning that stated I should "stay focused on feeling better." And though I agree with his direction, it's not easy to be hopeful after seven days.
Back on Day 1
I woke up after talking to a guy on the phone until one in the morning. Knew I was gonna wake up tired, but I understood that when I went to bed. What I didn't expect was the beyond dizzy feeling. I thought that maybe I was just really tired, but later that day I knew it was getting worse.
And Day 2
I was spinning out! Woke up and it was not awesome. Spinning more and more... Very nauseous and it was harder to keep my balance. Daughter was urged by my wife to get my ass to the urgent care. I got in the car and off we went! Vomited while attempting the epiley maneuver and that was also not fun.
From Day 3 to Today
All these days have been spent with a remote in hand, propped up in bed. Ironically, it's all very familiar. So many years I was propped up with a glass at my feet, remote in hand, some shitty show on Netflix, while my head spins me closer to the unconscious time I desired. This is different, but familiar.
I have made a few phone calls today, made an appointment with my doctor for Friday (morning). I imagine my step son will drop me off on the way to work and I will bum some rides from there or “take an uber”. As I sit here, I can only imagine what it's like for those with more serious debilitating issues. My wife for instance; she has so many health concerns such as RA, spinal stenosis, low blood pressure (heart related), thyroid nodules, and a recent allergy issue that causes some definite problems, it's amazing she even gets out of bed some days. And here I sit, a bit pissy about riding the tea cups all day (sans tea cups of course).
I am acutely aware at times like these that we “really only have our health”. I have been “out of commision” since last Thursday and will not be able to drive myself anywhere until the majority of my vertigo symptoms are under some amount of control or completely gone. I am still able to do a lot, but working is not one of those things and that causes me some anguish to a certain extent. I am also aware that my wife and kids need me… To pick up, to drop off, to help out, clean, assist, to be there, be attentive, to be aware, to be healthy. Today, I am grateful to be able to do as much as I am able to do. Though I may not be capable of doing as much as I desire to do, at the very least I can remain grateful ... why?
Let me tell you why
Throughout this process I have seen the care and concern from a lot of people in my life. From family, friends texting, following up, calling, etc. For a long time I felt like I didn’t have that and in a lot of ways I didn’t. As I lay here today I am amazed at how much I feel cared for and loved. I just got a call from someone (in Texas) who has made a great impression on me over the last year and I gotta say that it really made my day. When I get better (or maybe before), I am going to make sure that I take the time to show the same care and love for people in my life as much as I can. It has certainly made a difference for me today.
The video above is a follow-up to the post above.
Recorded on Oct. 2nd 2017