Permission
Mood Board
Recently, I was given the opportunity to work with someone who wanted to start her own business. She does yoga and has all-natural lotions, face creams, lip balms, etc. I am not the exact target market, but after interviewing and consulting with her, I quickly understood where she wanted to take her vision.
I could hear the hesitation in her voice as we talked. It was one of those moments when I realized that old saying, "If you spot it, you got it." And I knew that I was dealing with someone with as many self-limiting beliefs as I once had.
Remember when
It seems like a lifetime ago, you see; there was a time when I conducted my ego to hide my true lack of confidence in my abilities. This fake bravado and cock-sure responses were simply a misdirection. Underneath, I had a severe lack of self-esteem. For a long time, I had hidden behind this "false self" and remained in the perpetual amount of fear that someone would call "bullshit." Nobody ever did. Some people may have tried, but nobody did with any significant result. I operated for years under this condition.
Can I really do that?
The day came when I could no longer have this attitude/ego and be the person I wanted to be in this world. Unfortunately, for some, they may live their entire lives in this state. It was only a moment of existential crisis that drove me to change. And ever since, I have been on the path to becoming a richer and more authentic version of who I feel I am. The truth is that this is not easy to actualize, and it takes an awareness of every action and attention to each day's results. It actually takes work. Go figure!
““If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent, you will keep it.” ”
So, as we progressed in with this person's logo design, I began to get excited for her. We worked back and forth to land on something she could own. Then, I took it to another level and sent over a mood board, look and feel, t-shirt example, etc. Part of this phase serves two purposes;
It allows me to step through the "look and feel" and get a sense that what I am creating will be executable, and
It brings the whole creative idea together and, for the first time, appears "real" to the client for the very first time.
At this time in the process, I could hear the hesitation in this person's voice about the future. When any client would be excited and start to see the potential, she pulled back. Less communication. Less feedback. Less involvement. She even handed it off to her cousin to finish up. This is what I know as "The fear of success." It's one thing to fear failure and feel frozen, but I believe it is even more paralyzing to have a fear of success and to allow your dream to be taken over by someone else because you feel inferior for some reason.
It's all about me, after all
So, how does this impact me? Well, it is all about me, you know. Today, I can do one thing for people, clients, friends, and family. I can give people in my life permission to do what they want to do. As I have grown and made significant changes in my life, I have had key people give me "permission." Even though these "key people" were never really the ones I needed permission from in the first place. I only needed permission from myself, but I needed to hear it from others. I needed to hear that it was "okay." I needed reassurance. I was dependent on others' opinions and feelings and had a strong desire for approval.
Time takes time
Over the years, I have seen my confidence grow whenever someone gave me permission in a particular area. Today, I see the times when I can help others do the same. It is rewarding to encourage and watch people grow, too. Today, I don't hesitate like I once did; I don't pull my punches or not do the things I want to do. That "fear of success" and "fear of failure" no longer take such a prominent role as they once did. But it seems like a lifetime to get here.
What about you? What are some of your "self-limiting" beliefs? Please put them in the comments below (anonymously, of course).
