Just a cup
Just a cup book cover
“The Tao is an empty vessel; it is used but never filled.”
Just a cup - It’s only supposed to be a friggin’ coffee table book
I sat there. Just fucking angry! So infuriated! I was wondering what more I could say to this man after we had both just said some outlandish words. A dumb exchange at best. Usually, I would be okay exchanging these words, but it just seemed like too much resentment being built up after so many other enjoyable interactions.
How did it get here?
Well, last year I was asked if I wanted to write a book and I jumped at the chance when it came up. You see, there is a little voice in the back of my mind, I have always wanted to be apart of authoring or publishing a book. I have always told myself to listen for that opportunity and remind myself to jump at the offer if it ever comes up. So, there I was, I got a text one day from a man I barely knew, then a phone call, and then I got the pitch! Oh brother, what a pitch!
A children’s book?
At first, when the idea came up, it was presented to me as having an illustrated character (a cartoon cup) attempting to convey the concept of emptiness in Taoism. Now, I know what you’re saying, “Why not, Carl?” Well, first, I hate characters that sell me stuff. If you’re a kid, yes, but not an adult who is contemplating emptiness in the framework of Taoism! I nearly passed on the whole thing altogether. I told this man that I would think about it and that I would give it some consideration.
“When two great forces oppose each other, the victory will go to the one that knows how to yield.”
Is waiting “really” the hardest part?
I let the idea settle in. I got the notes and began to pick apart the idea. There were some Christian concepts along with other statements all mixed together. A cornucopia of emptiness! It was all over the map. I tried to see this as a “cartoon character thing,” and it just didn’t fit with my tastes. I was just learning about Taoism myself and even got the Tao Te Ching for Christmas from my wife in 2019. I had taken a lot of interest in the subject and began reading it each morning. From what I read and understood, the ideas expressed in the Tao Te Ching did not sync up with the idea of a cartoon character. So, I thought about it. I thought about my attraction to the subject matter and how my journey has led me to the ideas of emptiness, the lack of deities in my beliefs, and how it fits with my current understandings of faith, life, and living. At that point, I knew what to throw out, what to leave in, and it was that simple. All good ideas are simple.
So, I did a thing?
The process went like most creative processes. I presented my idea back from a client’s original concept, and they didn’t like that part! But that’s what creatives do! They take your ideas and make them better. I don’t know any other way to say it. Call it “ego” if you want, but that’s usually what happens when you submit your ideas to a creative. They typically take what you give them and make it better. Well, that’s what we tell ourselves so we don’t cry ourselves to sleep at night.
Samples of “Just a cup” book pages:
You want to know what happened, huh?
Well, I sat on it. Months went by, and I just sat on the opportunity. I admit it! I am not ashamed. I had other stuff to do, don’t judge! What I did not expect was a pandemic! A real PANDEMIC! After the new year, I had planned on getting the book done, I had sent some revisions and got some more “feedback,” and I had lost interest in the 7th round of “feedback.” Admittedly, I was a bit resentful. The book that I felt I had turned from a joke into something more presentable was being “revisioned” to death. All the fun was being taken out of the process! What was once supposed to be a lite piece was now being taken way too seriously, in my opinion. So, what did I do? I stalled. I dragged my feet and spent my free time doing other things. I secretly hoped my new partner in book publishing would forget it and that I could go on without making the few corrections that we noted and forget the whole thing.
Did he forget?
He didn’t forget, and neither did I as we found ourselves exchanging texts this last June. As it turns out, he had some different opinions about current happenings in the world and said some things as he posted on Facebook, and I felt they crossed a few lines. I was upset. He said some things, and I said some things, and in the middle of it all, he mentioned completing this book. I certainly wasn’t about to finish the book now! How could I? I felt this man was so ignorant and uninformed, and I wasn’t about to participate with this man! After the stuff he posted? I couldn’t bring myself to be associated. I unfriended him on Facebook and thought that would be the end of it. But it wasn’t.
Later, as I sat in my front yard watching my youngest daughter ride her bike back and forth on the sidewalk, I thought about “my word” and what it meant to keep it. Regardless of what happened, I needed to finish the book irrespective of how I felt about what was going on in the world and especially how other people felt about it. I also thought about Taoist principles and how well they have served me in recent years, and in these different moments, we can sometimes learn more from the past than in the present:
“After a bitter quarrel, some resentment remains.
What can one do about it?
Being content with what you have
is always best in the end.
Someone must risk returning injury with kindness,
or hostility will never turn to goodwill.
So the wise always give without expecting gratitude.
One with true virtue always seeks a way to give.
One who lacks true virtue always seeks a way to get.
To the giver comes the fullness of life:
to the taker, just an empty hand.”
Did I finish it?
Of course, you silly goose! I wouldn’t be taking the time to write about some little failure (or would I?). I did and it turned out… okay. I am not that pleased with it, but I did finish it. I did the thing that I set out to do and kept my word. It took some resentment, some humility, and a few more hours, but I did it. If you would like to buy the book “Just a cup”, I promise that all the proceeds will be donated to a fitting charity.
