Since I was a child, I have admired comedians, their wit, storytelling, and, more than anything, their ability to connect and engage with people instantly. It’s something I've always wanted to do, but I never felt I could. When I started doing improv at ImprovCity in Tustin, California, a few years ago (see those posts here and here), I started meeting people who had done some stand-up comedy. After the Monday Drop-in classes, we would stand outside and chat, and this is where I said I wanted to do it out loud for the first time… “I’ve always wanted to do stand-up!”
People talk about “manifestation” or “the law of attraction” all the time, but little did I know that I was letting the universe know my intentions, and it was going to start putting more opportunities to fulfill that intention into my life. When I said it, it felt like a complete pipe dream and something that I would talk about, but never do.
Careful what you say and how you say it.
A fellow improviser said, “You should totally do it.” And not in that “you’re so funny, you should do it” kinda way. They said it in that “It’s harder than you think, but you should try it.” Based on our conversation, I got the sense it is harder than it looks. Everyone thinks they can do stand-up. Everyone has riffed a few zingers at a party or with their friends. It’s one of those things that looks easy and fun on the surface. Maybe you’re gifted, and you have no fear of taking the stage and microphone; maybe you’re a natural and will just take to it like a duck to water! But! Maybe you’re like most everyone (including me); you need to practice; maybe you need to write jokes first, so you have something to say when you get on stage? In my experience, it is very much the latter.
Let’s start at the very beginning; it’s a very good place to start…
I had to start somewhere. So, I started by attending stand-up classes. Yes, such a thing exists. We don’t all get good at stand-up by bellying up to the bar and making everyone laugh at open mic nights, though you certainly can take that path. For me, I wanted a more structured environment and was willing to pay for someone’s experience first. There is a saying: "Fools learn from experience. I prefer to learn from the experience of others." [1] - Though I do “play the fool” (Well, not all the time). So, I joined a class. We met for six weeks, sifted through material, and came up with ideas and topics for what we could potentially cover.
Having hosted a podcast on recovery for more than 10 years, I quickly focused on my time in recovery and my 11 years of sobriety. Looking back over the last 11 years, I pulled out all the usual recovery tropes as I searched for the more entertaining and “shareable” sides of my recovery. One of the things that we focused on in the initial classes was “finding your comedic voice,” which is harder than you think. Writing and working on material that fits your authentic comedic voice and putting pen to paper is challenging, but it is so rewarding.
We first wrote and delivered 1-min, 3-min, and 5-min sets, and the class ultimately ended in a showcase where friends and family were invited to see an 8-min set for the results of the 6-week effort. Though I was encouraged to go to a few open mics, I went to one open mic and was very nervous. I decided not to do the recovery material at the open mics, as they were in a bar, so I did a few minutes on drinking and dating (both of which I had not done in more than 10 years). The open mic really helped because it was clear people didn't pay attention, and some tables were so loud it was hard to hear the performers. I got a crash course in low-level heckling, plus the usual folded-arms couple at the front table, casting daggers in my direction and refusing to laugh the whole time.
A few weeks later, in the showcase, I was put up first in the line-up and stepped up to the mic with as much confidence I could muster. The following is the result of that experience:
Carl Desmond Stand Up - Recovery
What nobody knows is that during that time, I was going through some medical issues. I was urinating blood at times, and also bloody matter, and eventually got tested for bladder cancer. A few weeks after this performance, I was asked to do a small show in El Segundo, CA. The most “comedy business-esque” thing to ever come out of my mouth was and still is, “I got booked to do six minutes in El Segundo.” Again, I didn’t do the “recovery” material because, you know, bars. But it was a good opportunity, and I really enjoyed the experience. See pictures/proof below.
I am pumped! Let the healing begin!
Sadly, I was scheduled for a tumor resection, and less than three months later, I was scheduled for my second tumor resection. Needless to say, I wasn’t going to be doing a lot of stand-up in the upcoming year. I was scheduled for BCG treatments (Bacillus Calmette-Guérin treatment is a type of intravesical immunotherapy used to treat early-stage, non-muscle-invasive bladder cancer), and in less than 6 months, I was now dealing with side effects and a bladder that responded a little too well to the treatments. For months (and still some days), I struggled with urgency and frequency, and it just sucks. But! I got some good content out of it! Because if life gives you cancer, well, you pee golden showers more often!! Not really; that’s the humor I had to embrace to find the golden lining in the whole thing.
After many months of bladder urgency and fighting frequency, I spent some time writing another stand-up set just on bladder cancer. I figured someone out there was suffering the same way I was and, like me, needed to find the funny in it all. Except this time, I had made notes of what I found funny along the way, taking time to put all my “cancer notes” in my notes app so that in the future, when I was feeling better, I could use that material. This became the new habit: Today I find myself categorizing topics like “recovery,” “cancer,” or “relationships,” and whenever I think of something with a good angle, I put it in the notes.
When I had a large portion of the new set developed, I began sharing it with friends in the comedy community, and I even paid a coach to help punch it up! After a few months, I had a good set and was ready to deliver. A few open mics and more enduring of the hecklers, and I was ready. See the video below:
Carl Desmond - PISSMAXING: Surviving Bladder Cancer | Stand-Up Comedy
The punchline?
Don’t get cancer for the material; if you’re lucky enough, stick to the small dick jokes. But if you have something to say, fucking say it. Say it with or without fear. Say it because you’re the only one with your perspective, and nobody can say it exactly the way you can. Say it because it deserves to be said, but more importantly, say it while you still can…
Don’t forget to follow me on the socials! Who knows! I might be performing in a bar near you soon!
